Life in balance - is it just about self care?

Having a balanced life is something that eludes many. We often talk about filling your own cup before you can fill anyone else's which brings me to self-care. Self-care means lots of things to a lot of people but is it all about eating well, taking baths and practicing mediation? To me it’s more about making the choice to build a life that you don’t need to regularly escape from - a life that inspires you to do your best and allows you to be you.

I’ve never been a fan of the term ‘work/life balance’ although I’ve always been aware of the need to manage all that life throws at us - often like a circus juggler 🤹‍♀️.

My dear friend and I just love the movie ‘Shirley Valentine’ and boy, did she not have any balance in her life! (The line ‘chips and egg’ still makes me chuckle today!) Anyway, running away and trying to ‘find ourselves’ is surely not the answer! I know many a woman who would say ‘I just want something else’ ...'I don't have any time for me'... ‘stop the world I want to get off’... but is running away really the answer?

Back to life balance and my theory that its best to not want to escape regularly from your own life but to incorporate your escapes INTO your everyday life.

Escaping could indeed be your self care - yoga, walks in nature, shopping, lunch with friends, a massage, the list goes on - and you may feel that you try to add these to your life so that you can create 'balance' but life sometimes gets in the way of you having these little pockets of escapism.

Here is the trick, there isn't a trick. You have to commit to what you want. You have to put yourself up there with the washing, the food shopping, the kids sports days, the visits to see mum... It's ok to schedule in your time and it's equally ok to re-schedule and move things around.

Taking some time to temporarily disconnect from your life is a GREAT tool to have. You don’t need to jump on a plane or retreat from society to gain some perspective and get introspective on your life and work out what’s working and what isn’t working for you.

We can sometimes wind ourselves up to the point of breaking (Cue Shirley leaving home and husband and boarding a plane to Greece never to return!). Feeling that we need others to change so that we can come up for air. We don't need them to change. If you feel like you are wound up perhaps its time to UNWIND yourself

All aspects of life - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - play a role in order for you to achieve balance. Unwinding yourself can help you understand what balance means to you.

What works for some may not work for you - take time to discover what works, or in other words, find your unique balance equation. Until you start playing with what we think gives us peace and balance and ultimately makes us feel happy and full of gratitude, we will never really know what it is to be in balance.

I often feel that some people put too much effort into 'taking time out for themselves'... They feel guilty when they didn't do that gym class or meet that friend for lunch. This just adds to the overall guilt they feel about 'failing' at life balance and self care... take it easy on yourself!

This has by no means been easy for me (as a recovering people pleaser and person who thinks she can do everything!) but when I took time (and still take time to unwind and work out what makes me feel content and balanced) in little pockets of silence and introspection I know now that trying to just add 'something else' (aka self care visits to the gym or walks) to my already chokka block days adds to the stress I feel when I don't achieve those days or I do do the gym class but feel awful because my laundry is untidy!

As you may know, my partner and I have a holiday accommodation business and do all the work ourselves. My peace comes from having my laundry clean and tidy, emails up to date and house tidy then and only then do I feel content to fit in a yoga or gym class. To me leaving the laundry to go to a class defeats the object of what makes me feel balanced!

I will happily forgo a gym class to get my laundry clean and tidy - I used to beat myself up if I didn’t go the the gym class because the laundry was untidy but then realised I was creating my own pressure! How mad is that? So now I clean the laundry and then do the gym class if it fits in... if it doesn’t I choose another class or leave it for that day! I become flexible - how good is that word and its also a fantastic attribute in my view.

Taking some time for you to ‘think’ and work through what balance looks like for you is self care!

I'd love to know how you like to find balance in your life.

Much love,

Dawn