Mind over matter - Your thoughts and managing them

Your mind is a very powerful tool. Your thoughts affect your perception of your world.

Apparently, we all have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. But according to some research, as many as 98 percent of them are exactly the same as we had the day before and about 80 percent of our thoughts are negative. How can you expect different results if you have the same thoughts and keep feeling and doing the same action?

Negative thoughts are particularly draining. Thoughts containing words like “never,” “should,” and “can’t” or complaints, whining or thoughts that diminish our own or another’s sense of self-worth are literally draining... a waste of energy.

The good news is, if you can recognize a negative or limiting thought, you can consciously choose to change it. Instead of saying, “I can’t meet this deadline,” try “I don’t know how I’m going to meet this deadline, but I know I can if I give it enough thought.”

After doing a lot of research I believe that we need to look at uncovering our current thought patterns to see that they are creating our current feelings, that are in turn driving our actions or in-actions and creating our results. Then you can start and create new thoughts on purpose and to think in a constructive way so you can better manage your feelings, actions, and the see better results.

Below will help you start to work at reprogramming your subconcious mind and mange your thoughts so that you reap the rewards -

1. Become aware of your thoughts. The only thing we really control in our lives are our thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Being aware of your thoughts and recognising the negative ones so that you can stop or change them is the start.

There are many voices in your head (the inner critic that we all have) that prompt you for unproductive and negative thoughts - - Thoughts you have created based on yours or other peoples expectations; - Other peoples views of you such as from your parents, colleagues etc; - Comparing yourself to others; - Past painful events which you draw upon; - The way you interpret whats happening and the self doubt you bring with it; - The words 'What if?' creep into your mind and these surely have no basis to be in there.

2. Catch your thoughts as they happen. Once you are aware catch those thoughts that feel off, bad or boring especially if you are feeling frustrated, angry or annoyed and stop and ask yourself - How am I feeling?

3. You decide how you want to feel so create a new thought. What do you want to think instead of this thought? Once you have identified how you are feeling step back and ask yourself - What am I thinking about? Why am I thinking like this?

For example - What is the thought I have = I am worried I won't be prepared for the meeting. Feeling = Anxious What is a fact = I have a meeting with my boss on Thursday

Now is the time to change the thought so that your feeling becomes a positive one and subsequently your actions and results are the ones that you want.

4. Change your thought. Just do it. Don't reach for the sky and do a completed 360 just change the language of your thought making it attainable and positive and keep stepping back until you feel comfortable with your new thought.

For example - What is the thought I have = I am fully prepared for my meeting Feeling = Excited What is a fact = I have a meeting with my boss on Thursday

We can look deeper into the belief systems that you have embedded in your mind which voice those unproductive and negative thoughts but for now keep trying out this exercise and you will be well on your way to training your mind to create new thoughts.

I follow a fantastic Life Coach called Brooke Castillo (Thelifecoachschool.com) and she has developed a model based on this and it can be explained as follows -

Circumstance = Fact, Anything that you have no control over - other peoples behavior, the weather, your past... Thoughts = Your opinion of the circumstance- a sentence in your mind, something you believe about the circumstance Feelings = How this makes you feel - one word - sad, happy, excited, angry... Actions = What you do because of the way you are feeling or what you don't do (inaction) Results = The affect the action has in your life

Generally the result = evidence of your thought.

Here are two examples of her model -

The original thought of not being prepared for the meeting with the boss-

C = I have a meeting with my boss on Thursday T = I'll never be prepared because I am unsure of what I want to say F = Anxious and unhappy A = I just keep worrying about what I will say and what I want and that last year I didn't get my pay rise R = I go into the meeting unprepared and walk out feeling useless

Let's change this thought and see what happens -

C = I have a meeting with my boss on Thursday T = I have done my research and know exactly what I want and how my boss can assist me in getting it F = Confident and poised A = I have researched and worked out a strategy for my pay increase R = I control the meeting and sell myself - the ball is in my boss's court now.

It might sound like hard work but use the model and you will see that it works... it really works. It is a very simple and practical way to start changing your thoughts for a happier you. Try it!

Working with me on a one on one basis we can delve deep into your thought processes and fix these FOREVER. Check out my program and fee structure here.

Remember thoughts are powerful and they are yours and only yours.

Take care.

Dawn