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Innerself Coaching Blog

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Do you second guess yourself?

Dawn Walton

Maybe you look at something and think it isn’t right yet you think to yourself it’s just you so you say nothing? Or you keep trying to change and alter something that doesn’t sit right with you yet this keeps stopping you from actioning it? Or you back track and agree with someone else’s choice rather than your own? Having doubts about every decision you make can be mentally exhausting. Overtime your energy can deplete because you're stressing over the least little thing.

It’s totally understandable if you worry about making the wrong choice however, being indecisive all the time can be chipping away at your confidence.

If this sounds like you there are ways to stop second-guessing yourself so you can make decisions and choices - big and small.


I know from experience that it can be hard not to overthink every decision you make (or don't make).

However, our own history of past experience tells us that worrying and stressing over most decisions doesn’t make any difference but why do some of us keep doing it?


I believe that much of the issue is with our own confidence. Yes overall confidence may be to blame but I am a confident extrovert yet I do struggle with confidence in particular tasks or challenges. People who are prone to second-guess themselves may not be very confident in what they're doing or may have had a bit of confidence ‘knocked out of them’ - you know by partners and friends or bosses who constantly tell us we know nothing about something or are stupid etc... 😬 But by trusting yourself and becoming more self-aware, you can make valid decisions without having to second-guess your thoughts or constantly ask others for their opinions. (Now there’s another subject all together!)


If you feel like you're the type of person who's always backtracking because you're not completely confident sticking to your guns when it comes to making important choices, here are some ways you overcome your thoughts and stop second-guessing yourself.


1. You are you - Everyone makes decisions based on what’s happening now and what the outcome should be. We all have different ways to peel an apple but the apple gets peeled anyway. Don’t let the way you peel your apple compared to someone else deter you. It’s the same end results!;

2. Stand tall and be resolute - We all make mistakes but as I say above, we make decisions based in the now and the desired outcome. This is your decision so own it!;

3. Stop asking others what they would do! This drives me insane - I know someone who does this all the time. What it does it gives you too many choices, non of them yours, and adds to your confusion. Go back to step 2 and repeat it! Take ownership. Asking too many people confirms both your neediness and lack of responsibility. Trust in one or two close friends when making a discussion;

4. Stop thinking about the rain whilst the sun shines - You will find that what you worry or second guess about, others wouldn’t even blink an eyelid at. Enjoy the now and if the poop hits the fan, address that when it does.


It’s ok to feel the discomfort of making a decision. But putting it off won’t help. Using something as an excuse to not do something else just prolongs the decision making process.


When you start realizing who you are as an individual, making choices in your everyday life can become much easier because you've learn what your goals and values are. Become more familiar with yourself and the confidence will blossom when you're making decisions. I promise 😉


Build your decision making muscle, use it everyday.

much love, Dawn x


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