Don't stay confused and fearful to change your life

There comes a time in our lives when we wonder what we want, if we are where we thought we would be at this stage of life and ask ourselves 'is this really what I want?'

It can be confusing and frustrating and we can push it all aside because it feels 'too hard' so many stay stuck.

As someone who has been there myself and still suffers from wondering 'is this it?' I also know that deep down we know what it is we want, we are just afraid to think it let alone work out how to get it and actually take action.

A lot of amazing women like to think they're confused.

Staying confused is actually easier, even though it doesn’t move you forward.

But…it’s actually is a choice.

When you’re confused, it’s easy to get comfortable. You slowly but surely just start to accept that this is the way it is.

You think so hard that you feel you actually have NO choice.

Staying confused seems easy, comfortable, not pushing your' or anyone's else out of their comfort zone. Do you REALLY want life to be different because this means change?

Sometimes you might find yourself thinking you’re hiding from what you’re actually thinking, I know I can do this... brush it aside and think it will disappear.

This is FEAR. Fear will stop you from getting outside of your comfort zone (where the growth lies). It will put you at risk of others not liking you.

Everyone has a different situation but it all boils down to the fact that right now you would like to change but you aren’t because you’re fearful so you resist change.

You’re holding yourself back.

Let's start small here. Awareness is the key to bringing change into your life. Awareness will help you manage your fear and resistance.

Bringing this awareness to how you prioritise yourself, set and keep personal boundaries, create self belief and take personal responsibility will build your resilience so that fear and resistance to change dissolves before your eyes.

Sound simple? Maybe, but it's small steps.

Be really honest with yourself. Let me ask you -

Why don’t you have the result that you SAY you want in life?

If you don’t like your reasons for making a decisions about making a change… so that the result of your life is what you say you want then perhaps fear is standing in your way.

Ask yourself a few questions -

When do you feel fear?

Why do you feel fear about this change?

What are you making this fear mean?

What is the worst case scenario?

What is the best case scenario?

What does the fear feel like in your body?

If you didn't feel fear, what would it feel like?

What would your future self say to you about the way you’re thinking about it?

Are you lacking confidence to create this change?

Do you feel like you’re wasting valuable time because you’re decisions are about fear instead of growth?

The bottom line is that it’s not enough to want something. You have to take action, to move forward.

This is YOUR life. If you don’t make some sort of a change and take some sort of action, you will likely find yourself in the same position that you are in this time next year — nothing will change unless you take action.

It's up to you. Ditch the fear, stop feeling resistance and start loving in the direction you want to move.

You have to decide you’re no longer going to make fear-based decisions.

And then, you have to stick to that commitment.

Moving away from this fear, this confusion and this feeling of being stuck starts with knowing what you want. Without this how can you focus on prioritising yourself (you would just push your wants and needs away because YOU don't know what your goal is), set boundaries (How can you show others how you want to be treated if you don't know yourself), believe in yourself (stop listening to others that want to keep you stuck because it's good for them!) and take responsibility for your life (No one is going to save you).

Sorry not sorry that this is harsh BUT it's down to you.

Use these final questions to help you start taking action. If you were to pick one area of life out of these to focus on what would it be?

Prioritising yourself

Setting boundaries

Self belief

Personal responsibility

And how can you best focus on this area to get you what you WANT in life? Don't let fear stop you in your tracks.

I'm here if you want to reach out.

Dawn x

Dawn Walton is a coach to women who have lost sight of who they are. Dawn helps women re-ignite their identity through building confidence, setting boundaries and honouring commitment & connection to themselves so that they can achieve purpose, reach their potential and bring zest back into their lives.

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