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Innerself Coaching Blog

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Finding it difficult to let go? Do you want to let go of something? Feeling guilty?

  • Writer: Dawn Walton
    Dawn Walton
  • Mar 14, 2018
  • 3 min read

Guilt is something that doesn't have to be over something you caused or you believe you caused, it can be a feeling that sits with you for no apparent reason or an obvious reason that you just can't get on top of. Looking at letting go of an internal voice in your head about something you think may or may not be true (as opposed to guilt associated with a particular act - we can look at this separately) is a huge step to becoming the true you. Do you have a thought in your head that you know is wrong but you just can't shift it?

Do any of these sound familiar - You feel guilty about not making others happy; Others always do it better than you; Hard work doesn't pay off; I need to contribute more in life.

Are you going round in circles? You know that the thought is wrong but it stops you in your tracks even though you try and get rid of the thought? Then you lose it and it comes back when something you do triggers it? Can you not leave the harbour because you are afraid of what you might encounter on the open seas? It's time to pull your anchor up and sail away. Your limiting beliefs could be holding you back. Believe in yourself.

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person and one that prides herself on hard work and doing the best I can. I feel that my partner does so much and with ease. He finds it easy to switch modes several times a day and doesn't complain, moan or dramatize it. He is never overwhelmed, It's annoying! I often feel that the work I do is less important and I'm less capable than him - until I check in with myself and say 'STOP'. This turmoil is all in MY head, no one else's. My partner tells me a do as much as him, he says we are both powerhouses when it comes to activity and doing stuff. So, these thoughts are just that.... they are in MY head and I need to manage them so that I can move on and not keep holding onto the guilt I feel because I FEEL I do less and I feel guilty because I think I am not as good as he is. When I feel guilty I slow down, I don't perform at my optimum, I procrastinate, I start overthinking and under doing. I feel demotivated and the result ends up being that I feel like a failure or fraud. .. does this sound familiar to you? When I say 'STOP' what I do is change my thought... I become mindful of the thoughts in my head and I remove or replace them. The original thought is that I am not as good as him but if I change this to a positive thought like 'we make a great team - we compliment each other' then I don't feel guilty, I feel part of that team and proud. I actually create a feel good story around that feeling - I visualise us as a team and what we do together. When I feel proud I walk tall, I stand straight and am strong. Gone are those procrastination ideas, my desire shows itself and then I do what I do best which contributes to our great team effort. Our team works!

It's not an overnight fix, it will take time but starting to be aware is a leap in the right direction. When you start to think those limiting thoughts or feel guilty because you are doing something that others may judge just STOP and think about the thoughts in your head and change them.

So, what is the thought that you want to let go of? What can you replace that thought with? How can you be more mindful about that thought? Are you able to change the story around that thought? These are ways to help you let go of those thoughts that are holding you back. Start the work now and let go of something in your life, doing this one step will empower you.

For more information on one on one coaching tailored to your needs email me now. We can have a 45 minute obligation free chat about where you want to go or if you just feel stuck... you only lose 45 minutes of your time and I feel sure even if we don't end up working together after the call, you will have a greater insight into what it is you want and what could be holding you back. As a certified coach I know that coaching works. When I am coached I feel so empowered. When I coach my clients feel empowered ... Go on give it a go!

Until next week, live for today, be yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Dawn

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