Ignite your relationships...

I love how I now have what I believe to be a deeper relationship with a friend I spend a lot of time with in the good old '90's. In those days we were the 'Friends' of our click and she was certainly the Monica (if only for her good looks and wit!). As life moves we all moved and although keeping in touch happened we never really connected after 2010. Life changed for both of us and yet today, we are both on the same path and have come full circle in our personal development. If we were not open to seeing how our lives developed or being open to lapses of time I would never have been part of this amazing woman's journey and life after the 1990's.

Nurturing the relationships you cherish is oh so important, not only to you but to those that receive that nurture. You reap what you sow and to nurture is to grow. I have some magnificent relationships and I know I nurture them and I enjoy every minute of it. I never feel obliged, it's never a chore, these are relationships I take time over. Do you?

When we leave full time employment, move location, change jobs or commence a stay at home role we lose the 'familiar'. When we finish employment we see fewer people - retirement and motherhood alike or when we adopt a sea-change or re-location we have little or no connection to our new surroundings or indeed situation.

We can overcome many of these situations however it can be more difficult for some and even stressful for others.

Imagine if you went through these changes without friends or a social network? Imagine if all of your connections were work related and when you left work you left them? Harsh I know and you may say 'my work friends are friends for life' but I know from personal experience that isn't always the case. When you leave work it is only a matter of time before everyone, even your best work friend, moves on. It's a big world out there... you will be replaced.

Approaching the cultivation (sorry for this terminology) of relationships isn't hard. It's all about respect, thoughtfullness and honesty. There is a saying that tells us a true friend is someone who you don't see or speak too for an age and then when you do you start where you left off. That's great if everyone you know is a life long friend from school... It isn't ideal if these are your only circle of friends and you don't know how to move forward.

I have met life long friends since I arrived in Australia 19 years ago and yes, they only know me from when I met them. I nurture those relationships. I never take them for granted.

When I first arrived in Australia I missed the 'familiar' I wanted to go see my old friends and sisters and not make an effort. When you have friends that know you from day dot you feel you don't have to make an effort but they move on, your family move on and guess what, you too move on... you develop. You have to make an effort to keep in touch.

Start to be curious about people, don't stalk just listen. Listening without selling yourself will guide you to find new friends and people you want in your life. Now is the time to be selective. Look for opportunities in your personal relationships.

Let's look at this like Network Marketing. Ok, stay with me on this one. Network Marketing is about (in my words) creating a profitable business or sending a message through your network which will ultimately impact on other networks making your business expand and be profitable - maybe not the best description but its how I see it. Let's look at your life as being the business... wow, hey, I can see you all nodding your heads...

Investing in your relationships ( and culling some that don't serve you) and making an effort to connect and make new relationships - your doctor, your beautician, your yoga teacher, a daycare manager, the bakery operator.... all of which are external to your existing or past workplace will help you.

Research shows that having a network of friendships helps with life longevity and overall happiness.... Don't you think it's worth it to start investing more time in your relationships new & old and try and cultivate new relationships?

Try these tips -

- Send a friend an 'I'm thinking about you' note or thank you text or letter;

- Say hello to the person in the cafe:

- Make real conversation to your hairdresser or dentist or therapist or beautician they will thank you for it;

- Stop trying too hard, just be yourself with whoever you meet;

- Don't sell yourself, it's a real turn off and we can all sense a 'Sale'

As a retiree or a upcoming retiree these may all seem "Gen X' factors however the rules apply to all. We may speak about the entitled age but stop being so entitled yourself - no one owes you anything.

When we finish full time employment or move or become an empty nester, we should be looking at our relationships in great detail. These tips are more relevant to an over 50 year old because we have less contact and less inclination to seek contact - online or otherwise.

In order to grow and flourish we all need to expand our circle - after all you will never know if you never give it a go...

If you want some one on one help in growing your network and social spread, contact me for a FREE 45 chat. Just click HERE.

Thanks for reading and most importantly phone or say thank you to a friend - imagine if they did that to you.

Check out the retirement plan I have for you in the next session.

Thanks so much for reading.

Dawn